Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Shut Up & Take My Money: August 19th


Greeting fellow movie watchers and comic book collectors. 

Are you looking for a new flick to watch or new comics to read? 


Check out this week's latest releases! 

Blu-rays/Dvds



The Amazing Spider-Man 2 


Description:

It’s great to be Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield). For Peter Parker, there’s no feeling quite like swinging between skyscrapers, embracing being the hero, and spending time with Gwen (Emma Stone). But being Spider-Man comes at a price: only Spider-Man can protect his fellow New Yorkers from the formidable villains that threaten the city. With the emergence of Electro (Jamie Foxx), Peter must confront a foe far more powerful than himself. And as his old friend, Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), returns, Peter comes to realize that all of his enemies have one thing in common: Oscorp.

Buy Here



Parks & Recreation: Season 6


Description:

Golden Globe winner Amy Poehler returns as Leslie Knope in the hilarious sixth season of Parks and Recreation. The citizens of Pawnee loathe their merger with the neighboring town of Eagleton, and blame all their troubles—both real and imagined—on Councilwoman Knope. The personal lives of those in City Hall are equally as tumultuous: Andy (Chris Pratt) must temporarily say "cheerio" to his wife, April (Aubrey Plaza), when he takes a dream job in London; Ron (Nick Offerman) adjusts to his new domestic roles; and Ann (Rashida Jones) and Chris (Rob Lowe) eagerly await the birth of their child… if they can survive the woes of pregnancy. From Primetime Emmy Award-winning executive producers Greg Daniels (The Office) and Michael Schur (The Office, Saturday Night Live) comes this three-disc set featuring a sensational ensemble cast and iconic guest stars such as Lucy Lawless, Henry Winkler, Heidi Klum, Kristen Bell and Sam Elliot. Take a trip to the small town with the big heart as you watch all 22 episodes back-to-back and commercial free!

Buy Here



Only Lovers Left Alive

Description:

The tale of two fragile and sensitive vampires, Adam (Tom Hiddleston) and Eve (Tilda Swinton), who have been lovers for centuries. Both are cultured intellectuals with an all-embracing passion for music, literature and science, who have evolved to a level where they no longer kill for sustenance, but still retain their innate wildness. Their love story has endured several centuries but their debauched idyll is threatened by the uninvited arrival of Eve’s carefree little sister Ava (Mia Wasikowska) who hasn’t yet learned to tame her wilder instincts. Driven by sensual photography, trance-like music, and droll humor, Jim Jarmusch’s ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE is a meditation on art, science, and the mysteries of everlasting love.

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The Quiet Ones

Description:

A university professor and a team of students conduct an experiment on a young woman, uncovering terrifyingly dark, unexpected forces in the process.


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The Sacrament

Description:

Two journalists set out to document their friend's journey to reunite with his estranged sister. They track her to an undisclosed location where they are welcomed into the remote world of "Eden Parish," a self-sustained rural utopia composed of nearly two hundred members and overseen by a mysterious leader known only as "Father." It quickly becomes evident to the newcomers that this paradise may not be as it seems. Eden Parish harbors a twisted secret. What started as just another documentary shoot soon becomes a fight for survival.

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Rosemary's Baby

Description:

Modern 4 hour mini-series adaptation of the classic novel by Ira Levin focusing on young Rosemary Woodhouse's suspicions that her neighbors may belong to a Satanic cult who are hell bent on getting one thing: the baby she is carrying.



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Comics 


The Killer Omnibus Volume 2 

Description:

A professional. A man of few scruples, nerves of steel, and a steady trigger finger. A man whose crimes might be catching up with him. A man on the verge of cracking. Archaia presents The Killer, a hardboiled, noir series chronicling one man's journey through some seriously bad mojo. After his misadventures in Venezuela, our Killer retires to Mexico, but his Colombian cartel friend Mariano and the Cuban agent Katia are not far behind. Soon he finds himself drawn back into the great geopolitical game between Cuba, Venezuela, and the United States, with oil revenues and political independence the stakes. Even when he finds himself in unusual territory as the shadow owner of an oil company developing Cuba’s off-shore deposits, the need for his usual skill-set is never far away…


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BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SEASON 10 #6 

Description:

What should have been a simple exorcism turns into a disaster for Buffy and the Scoobies when, instead of horrors, a demon fights back with blissful childhood fantasies!


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THE STRAIN: THE NIGHT ETERNAL #1

Description: 

It’s been two years since the Master’s plan succeeded and a near apocalypse coated the world in darkness. Now able to roam freely, the Master’s legion of vampires rule the world—a horrifying police state where humans are harvested for blood. As humanity despairs, Dr. Ephraim Goodweather and an unlikely team of heroes continue their fight against extinction and hope to unlock the secret to the Master’s demise.

Buy Here 



Road Rage 

Description:

Acclaimed novelist/Eisner-winning graphic novelist Joe Hill collaborated with his father, Stephen King, for the first time on "Throttle," a story that paid tribute to Richard Matheson's classic tale, "Duel." In Road Rage, both stories are adapted to the comic-book form by writer Chris Ryall with artists Nelson Daniel and Rafa Garres.



Buy Here

Happy reading/watching folks! 

Monday, August 18, 2014

5 Steps to Defeating An Alien



Aliens are about to attack the world!

Ok maybe not right now but some day, one day they will!

I feel like I know all the ways to take on vampires, werewolves and zombies but what about aliens? 

I wonder, what's the best way to defeat an alien (and protect your probe-o-lious butt hole)


1. Foil their plans with foil

Who knows if this stuff really works but hey, it can't hurt, right? So along with making a shiny foil hat for your head to block the aliens from invading your thoughts; why not make some foil undies as well? The magic of the foil may scramble the working of the probe causing an invisible wall between the probe and your hole of untapped knowledge. Now you can think freely and sit with ease with this alien kryptonite. *pew pew*






2. Entice them with junk food 

The greatest thing the Earth has to offer any creature is an endless amount of tasty treats that will titillate any foreign palette. Cheeseburgers, peanut butter, cats, dogs and frogs are all things aliens might be interested in eating other than us. 

Also if possible, get the alien completely shit-faced. If E.T. can get drunk then maybe the average alien can too.  Keep a full stocked cabinet, freezer and bar of junk and drinks and prepare to offer it to the visitor. Then as it chows down...run your ass to safety *pun may be intended*









3. Draw on yourself

If you are dealing with a body snatcher whom has the ability to only clone, then gather with your friends and family and plan a special marking. Take a permanent marker or pen and draw a line or something on yourself that will distinguish you from your evil alien clone. The alien can only clone your flesh (and maybe tattoos) but if you mark yourself up, it shouldn't be able to clone something that isn't a natural part of your exterior.








4. Get a contagious disease stat! 

So if it's possible to defeat an alien with a common cold, then other hardcore diseases should do the trick as well right? 

If there isn't anyone around with a cold, hit the hospitals up for someone with the flu, herpes, mono, pink eye, something that will instantly infect the alien right away. 

Make out with that patient, tongue and all! 

Then find your chance to make out with the alien to pass along the disease then poof, kazam, alien should die. 






5. Full-on attack! 

Get your Inner Jerry Springer all up on that alien's ass! If the alien doesn't have some super power than can immediately harm you then just straight up attack it. Throw your shoes, the lamp, some punches, kick it in its crotch-less crotch, go for the eyes, jump kick, use your hairspray for mace, stab it in the face with a fork. Do what you gotta do! Even if the alien does have some special power, it might be hard for it to use with you all on top of the alien getting your ghetto on. The alien may get instantly panic stricken causing it to retreat and warn other aliens to retreat as well. It could happen.




So folks, when the time comes for unfriendly aliens to invade our planet and our bodies, follow these helpful steps and protect yourself and all of mankind.


I Love Shorts: Monster Roll



This week's short film features sushi chefs fighting sea monsters. I can't get enough of big monsters movies so naturally I love this. 





If you know of a short film you think the world should see, go ahead and send me a link and maybe it will be a feature of the week! 

Friday, August 15, 2014

Friday Film Recommendations: August 15




Happy Friday film loving folks! 

Do you find yourself overwhelmed looking for movies to watch on Netflix? I know it's a tedious task to do so guess what?! I did it for you! 

Sit back, chill out and add some of these suggestions to your queue.






Nymphomanic

A self-diagnosed nymphomaniac reveals a lifetime of sexual experiences to a man who saves her from being beaten in an alley.

There's more to this film than boobs, balls and boxes all up in your face. The theme goes beyond just random sex acts and into a more deep (take that as you may) look in the different facets of sexual exploration. 

Find four hours out of your day to check out both volumes of this film. 














You're Next

A shy girl goes to her new boyfriend's family reunion and must join their bloody fight for survival when a gang of masked hooligans invades the party.

You're Next was high on my favorite films of last year so I was giddy to see that it's streaming for all to enjoy. 

To anyone who wants to write this off as another "home invasion" film, don't! 

This film is so much more than the typical cookie-cutter invasion film so check it out! 











The Killing (Season 4) 

The fourth and final season of the critically acclaimed crime thriller is a six-episode Netflix original that wraps up loose ends and reveals long-buried secrets. Detectives Linden and Holder return to investigate a gruesome mass slaying that exposes a dark family history, while trying to cover up a crime they committed.

I am a big fan of this show and I thought the third season was the best. I was thrilled that Netflix picked it up to wrap up the story for one final season. 

If you haven't seen the show before, all the other seasons are streaming as well. 










Lizzie Borden Took an Axe

This made-for-TV drama chronicles the scandal and enduring mystery surrounding Lizzie Borden, who was tried in 1892 for axing her parents to death.

There are a lot of Lizzie Borden movies out there but my girl crush on Christina Ricci convinced me to check this one out. 

It carries the "made-for-Tv" watered down feel but it's still an interesting take on Lizzie's story. 










Stage Fright

A snobby musical theater camp is terrorized by a blood-thirsty killer who hates musical theater.

Stage Fright is a little cheesy, the killer is kind of super obvious yet I still really enjoyed this movie. The cast is great and the musical numbers are fun so this movie is a good choice if you're in the mood for silly entertainment. 



                                 




To see past recommendations check out the list HERE






If there is a movie I haven't recommended yet but you think it's so great that everyone should watch it, drop me a line and I'll check it out! 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I Love Shorts: 30 Seconds Bunnies: Jaws


                       




In honor of Shark Week, here is a quick 30 second relay of Jaws done by bunnies!




www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6T-a73rccU

















Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Shut Up & Take My Money: August 12th





Greeting fellow movie watchers and comic book collectors. 

Are you looking for a new flick to watch or new comics to read? 


Check out this week's latest releases! 

Blu-rays/Dvds



Locke 


Description:

Ivan Locke, a dedicated family man and successful construction manager, receives a phone call on the eve of the biggest challenge of his career that sets in motion a series of events that threaten his careful cultivated existence.


Buy Here




Filth 

Description:

James McAvoy plays Detective Sergeant Bruce Robertson, a scheming, manipulative, misanthropic man who spends his time indulging in drugs, alcohol, sexually abusive relationships, and "the games" cruel plots and systematic bullying of his coworkers and friends. While working on the murder case of a Japanese student, he starts coming unhinged, slowly losing his grip on reality and suffering from a series of increasingly severe hallucinations as he desperately tries to hold his life together.

Buy Here



Ghost Hunters Season 9 Pt 1 (2013)

Description:

The Pursuit of poltergeists continues as the intrepid TAPS crew crisscrosses the country in 13 all-new episodes. The hunters begin Season 9 investigating the famous BLUE DAHLIA homicide in Los Angeles. Then it's off to San Juan Capistrano Mission, where an earthquake in the 1800's killed scores, some of whom may not have moved on. Visitors to the mission have reported a hooded monk walking the halls, and locals believe one look at his horrifying face means sudden death. The gang travels to Kentucky and ventures aboard the oldest operating steamboat in America to seek out its murderous former captain. In Connecticut, caretakers claim that executed patriot Nathan Hale may be communicating trough artifacts at his former home, now a museum. These adventures and more are included in the scary Part 1 of GHOST HUNTERS Season 9. Includes Never-before-seen Bonus Footage!


Buy Here


Motel Hell (Collector's Edition) 

Description:

Farmer Vincent kidnaps unsuspecting travelers and is burying them in his garden. Unfortunately for his victims, they are not dead. He feeds his victims to prepare them for his roadside stand. His motto is: It takes all kinds of critters...to make Farmer Vincent's fritters.


Buy Here

Comics 



The Remaining 

Description:


THE REMAINING is an action-packed supernatural thriller that addresses questions of life, love and belief against an apocalyptic backdrop. A group of close friends gather for a wedding, but the celebration is shattered by a series of cataclysmic events and enemies foretold by biblical end-times prophecies. The survivors face a horrifying, uncertain future as they scramble for safety, but as their world collapses around them in chaos and terror will they choose real life through faith, or just try to survive? 

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Scott Pilgrim Color Hardcover Volume 5: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The Universe 

Description:

The penultimate Scott Pilgrim full-color hardcover edition is here! There are many questions in Scott Pilgrim's terrible little life. First of all, why did he have to turn twenty-four? Secondly, why do robots keep trying to kill him? And why is Sex Bob-omb falling apart? Why is Ramona acting so weird? And finally, why won't these brilliant and deadly Japanese twins leave him alone? Scott Pilgrim will find the answers to these questions... or die trying! Featuring exclusive bonus content and previously unpublished extras you won't find anywhere else in the Universe!

Buy Here




ABE SAPIEN #15

Description:

Before the Black Flame, Hell on Earth, and the death of Roger, Abe faces a creature that threatens to drain the soul from anyone it comes in contact with. The B.P.R.D. have fought for mankind for years—and it’s their own humanity that’s at stake this time.


Buy Here


CREEPY #17

Description:

Uncle Creepy emcees an execrable exhibition from some of horror comics’ most talented creators! Paul Tobin and Juan Ferreyra share the tidings of a grim guardian angel, and J. Torres and Ron Salas mount some twisted taxidermy! Creeps unite!



Buy Here


DARK AGES #1

Description:

The medieval world is locked in war. As a godless mercenary company slogs across Europe in search of sustenance and coin, they encounter a demonic force born not of hell, but of somewhere else entirely!


Buy Here


Happy reading/watching folks! 

Monday, August 11, 2014

My Own Shark Week: The Best Shark Attacks In Movies



Happy Shark Week everyone!

To celebrate this week I am embracing random, cheesy shark movies. 

To kick this week off, here is a mash-up of The Best Shark Attacks in Movies!