Stuff I'd Like To See As A Musical

I’ve never been a big fan of musicals. I thought The Rocky Horror Picture Show was just ok but since then a lot more and better (in my opinion) musicals have been made. Repo! The Genetic Opera, A Nightmare Before Christmas, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long, Cannibal the Musical, and my personal favorite, Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Once More with Feeling are all musicals I easily got into.

 Within the horror genre, a lot has been adapted into musicals, including the soon-to-be Michael Jackson's Thriller, but here's what I’d like to see made into a musical:

1. Battle Royale- A group of students trapped on an isolated island are given three days to kill each other until only one remains. Think West Side Story meets The Most Dangerous Game, song would relate to killing for the first time, dealing with a bomb around your neck, going after your enemies, and just tryin’ to survive. 

                            

2. Twin Peaks- Laura Palmer is dead and everyone is a suspect.  All the townspeople sing a number about their deepest secrets. This musical would not be complete without a backwards song done by Michael J. Anderson, “the man from another place” and from the ghost of Laura. I would really love to see any of Lynch's work made into a musical. My favorite Lynch move is Wild At Heart, but I think Nic Cage sings enough in that movie. 

3. Teeth- Maybe the movie is too recent to be made into a musical but the thought of having songs about the predicament of having choppers in your vag is a winner for me. Plus, the vagina would have to have one, just one song number!

4. Any Night/Day/Dawn or Return of the Living Dead- I would love to see any or all of these made into a musical. All the character have some problem to sing about, Barbara dealing with Johnny’s death, a group number at the mall, life underground with the military or a punk rocker’s lament. Also the zombie should have a song about eating brains. 

5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space- I can see this as a rap musical. The clowns rap about cotton candy, balloon dogs and clown cars. I think the major characters in the movie would serve as a background to this musical and the focus would be more on the clowns and their creative ways at gathering humans.

6. Troll 2- This best worst movie could only get better…or worse served as a musical. Songs about Nilbog, green food, peeing on dinner, grandpa’s ghost and the most popular, “Oh my goooodddddddddddd.”

7. The Monster Squad- Maybe this wouldn’t make the greatest of musicals, but I would love to see a bunch of trash talkin’ monster-lovin’ boys sing about the wolfman’s nards. And of course, all the monsters would have musical numbers as well. 

8. Re-Animator- Herbert West sings about his adventures reanimating the dead. The musical wouldn’t have to be based on the first movie but just his crazy mishaps in general.

9. American Werewolf in London- The transformation scene was an art form in itself but add some singing to that, even better! The people at the bar sing about the moors, Jack sings his warnings to David; David serenades Nurse Alex and the undead bitch in song form. I’m sure even the werewolf could have a few songs while on the prowl.

10. Jaws- My favorite scene in Jaws is has nothing to do with any of the attacks or any scenes directly relating to the shark, it’s the scene when  Brody, Hooper and Quint are intoxicated, singing Irving King’s “Show me the way to go home.” I’d imagine the musical on that level, songs accenting certain scenes in the movie such as that scene did for that moment. It would be great. 

Show Me The Way To Go Home

I know that I may never see any of these in a musical form but a girl can dream.