Friday Film Recommendations: Dec 31st

Happy Friday and Happy New Year everyone! 


If you're looking to kill time before the drinking and the more drinking starts, here are my last picks of the year. 

Here's my selection from Netflix

Night of the Demons (remake)


Ok, in the ongoing theme of remakes, this one isn't very good. BUT! It is entertaining and there's blood everywhere so hey, it's a fun time killer.


Like the original, a party is had at a haunted mansion but shit gets ready when demons try to take over the party members. Dun dun dunnn!  





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Food of the Gods


Based on a H.G. Wells novel, a goopy ooze turns normal sized animals into....effin' gynormous animals! 


The trailer speaks for itself....





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New Year's Evil


So today is New Year's Eve so hey, why not watch a horror movie surrounding...New Year's Eve... Whattttt? Yeah wrap your mind around that! 


For this slasher flick, a punk rock singer hosting a New Year's countdown gets a phone call from a killer saying that he going to kill someone on the stroke of midnight for each time zone. She's all "yeah AND!?" and then he's all "I'm killing Yo' ass last, so suck on that bitch!" 


Ok that exchanged never really happened but you get what's up. 





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Happy Tree Friends: Winter Break


So now to lighten things up.... (but not really)


Here's a cutesy tv show about cutesy animals getting into cutesy gory, bloody red goodness stuff. Ok, maybe I just think it's cutesy but hey check it! 





Watch Now 

Head over to Fearnet.com and check out the latest selection which as includes....




Sometimes They Come Back...Again (Dun dun dunnnnnn) 

So in the first movie, a teacher is haunted by punks that killed his brother, in this follow up a dude is haunted by punks that killed his sister annnd they want his daughter played by Hillary Swank. Yeah, I can bet she won't admit that she was in this ever but this time killer is good for when you're in the "watching crap" mood. No judgement. 




Well folks, have a super, great New Year and I'm looking forward to entertaining you with more rec selections, reviews, shorts and other awesome shit. 


Happy New Year! 

My Top 2010 Movies

Now that 2010 has come to an end (dude, I just totally rhymed!) I took some time to reflect on the movies I've seen and loved this year. 

So with much thought, I've complied my list of my favorite 2010 movies. 

If there's something wicked awesome that you think I left out, it's either because I didn't see it or I didn't think it was all that wicked awesome so there! (and likely I forgot to add it to this list so...there!) 

On to the list! 

Frozen

I'm glad that I'm such a klutz that skiing will never be on my list of things I want to do. The minor possibility of being stuck on a ski lift for like, ever just solifies my non-desire to hit the slopes.

 

This dreary film not only had the ability to make me cringe and gasp every single time I watch it but I love it when a film can put me in a "what would I do" frame of mind when trying to relate to the situation and the characters.

 

Here's my review

Hatchet 2

Yes, another Adam Green film on the list and no it has nothing to do with my boner crush on him. For reals. 

 

Sequels to horror movies are a tricky thing especially when it comes to picking up where the first left off. Hatchet 2 delivers a solid Victor Crowley back story and it has buckets blood as it's side kick. 

 

Hatchet 2's picture perfect displays of gore gave me a boner high I couldn't get down from and it saddened me that the film didn't get much play when it was released. Wa wa. 

 

Here's my review

Black Swan

I'm so glad that there was more to this film other than all the hype surrounding the "lesbian" scene.  

I had no doubt that Aronofsky could crank out another hit film let alone a super creepy one as well. 

 

Here my review

Machete

Since the Grindhouse double feature in 2006, all of us fan waited and hoped that the faux trailer for Machete would some day materialize to a real film. 

This year we got to see the full length feature of that gem.

Machete was everything I could want in a fun, entertaining action film with the B-movie camp edge. 

Paranormal Activity 2

Another well-done horror sequel. This follow up to last year's suceessful scare, sadly over-hyped movie is a part prequel to the first movie yet still delivers the chills... times two! 

Here's my review 

Scott Pilgrim vs the World

I had the most amazing opportunity of seeing this in advance, twice at Comic Con. Yeah bitches! 

I became an instant fan of this film not only because of Edgar Wright's attachment but because it's from start to finish, down right effin' pew pew pew fun. 

 

Here's my review

Kick-Ass

When a friend and I were going to do an Iron Man 2/Kick-Ass double feature, I figured I was going to see some light-hearted teen super hero movie on par with Meteor Man or Richie Rich but holy crap, I was not expecting so much violence and gore sprayed all up in my face! 

Yes, I loved it hence why it's deserving to be on this list. 

The Killer Inside of Me

Set in the 1940's Lou Ford, a sheriff, gets mixed up with a dirty whore whom let's him slap her around and engage in other S&M type shit.

Lou appears to be an easy-going gentleman but he hides the crazy quirks of his personality that embraces brutal violence and a disturbing urge to kill. 

His affair with the dirty whore begins his deep spiral down a dark road of murder. 

I can't name too many noir-y films that stuck with me as being so beautifully sad so hence why I had to put The Killer Inside of Me on this list. 

Monsters

In Mexico, at a time when monster attacks are seasonal like the weather, a journalist attempts to take an American chick through "infected areas" to get her safety across the U.S. border. 

I've heard so much about this film over the last few months that I finally ordered it on Pay-per-view just to see what all the buzz was about. Oh and because I have a thing for "monsters breaking stuff and screaming RAWRRR" type movies. 

This film has flairs of District 9 only instead of the alien monsters having to adjust to our human rules and restrictions, we have to adjust to the monsters. Dun dun dunnnn! 

Buried

After seeing the 1993's The Vanishing I was completely horrified of the idea of being left for dead, buried in a coffin, where no one but your killer knows where you are. 

For years whenever I see that movie on, I shudder and think about how awful it has to be to be trapped in a box. Well, thank you Buried for throwing me right in that situation and making me a billion times claustrophobic and physically uncomfortable in a movie theater. 

Here's my review 

Well folks, I'm ready for some new awesome movies for the new year. 

Happy New Year everyone! 

Film Wise # 516

Howdy All!


It's time again for the Invisible people quiz fun time yeah! 


First let's start with last week's holiday cheer answers HERE


And let's move on with this week's HERE


I rocked out a spiffy 5/8 with #1, #2, #4, #5 and #6

Ok everyone, how'd ya do and what do you need help with?

I Love Shorts: Alone

In my teen years, my parents went out of town A LOT. I spent a lot of my weekends either home alone or have friends over. I was felt deprived that I never once had a scary phone call/turning on the radio and finding out that a psychopath broke out of the prison 5 miles away from my house moment. Oh well. 


Here's a short about a chick all alone at home. Enjoy.

Friday Film Recommendations: Dec 24th

Happy Holidays everyone! 


For Christmas Eve, I've gathered up some festive films for your viewing pleasure.

Queue up your Netflix Instant list with these fun flicks. 

Christmas time in South Park

Get into the Christmas spirit with 7 South Park holiday episode. 

Watch Now 

Santa's Slay

In the mood for something off the wall ridiculous? Yeah me too!


Check out wrestler Goldberg play this bad ass Santa looking to hack up the naughty and even some of the nice. 

Watch Now

MSTK3: Santa Claus

Join in the fun with Mike, Crow and Tom Servo as they watch this 1950's space Christmas flick. 

Watch Now 

Black Christmas

Right before Christmas break, sorority sisters are being harassed by a crazed crank caller. Little do they know, the calls are coming from inside the house. Dun dun dunnnnn. 

This is the original 1974 version and if you didn't know already, it was made by the late yet awesome Bob Clark who also directed The Christmas Story.

Watch Now 

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


Even though I know this is on like every channel all the time during the holidays, I just couldn't pass up the chance to personally recommend this for this week. 


It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this, the squirrel jumping out of the tree always cracks me the eff up. Good times. 





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If you want to take a break from Christmas related movies, go over to Fearnet.com and check out the selections such as......

The Descent 

Claustrophobia and monsters blend well in this film about chicks trying to bond together in a cave expedition trek. When charting unknown caves, the girls find themselves fighting for their lives against weird bat people monster thingies. 




Watch Now


Have a great holiday everyone! 

Christmas Horror Movie Drinking Game

If you're like me (or even if you're not but you want to be just like me) you like to get your Christmas horror movies on during the holidays. It's nice to cozy up on the couch and enjoy the bloody goodness of these movies but hey, why not drink along to them as well? 

Throw on your favorite Christmas horror movie, get your drunken beverage of choice and enjoy! 


1 drink – every time someone says the word “Christmas”
1 drink – every time someone gets killed
1 drink – every time someone takes a drink
1 drink – every time someone says “Santa” or Santa appears on the screen
1 drink – every time Christmas lights are on the screen
1 drink- every time a Christmas song is on 
1 drink – every time someone says “punish” or “punishment”
1 drink – every time someone says “naughty”
1 drink – every time you see boobs
1 drink- when someone opens a present
1 drink- when a flashback happens
1 drink- when there's a candy cane on screen
1 drink- when some complains about Christmas 
1 drink- when you see a snow man (prepare to get drunk if you're watching Jack Frost) 

*If you're watching Slient Night, Deadly Night 2, chug during the "Garbage day" scene 

Happy Drunken Holidays everyone! 

FMWL's 12 Midnights of Christmas

Hello all.


With the holidays coming up right quick, I just wanted to let ya'll all know that some awesome Christmasy stuff is going on over at From Midnight, With Love.




One of my favoritest bloggers, The Mike, has complied posts from other blogger including myself to put together a "12 Nightmares of Christmas."  


The post coincide with the "12 Days of Christmas" with awesome numerical randomness counting down to till... Christmas! 


Click on the link, enjoy and look out for my "2 Christmas Road Trips" post for Friday the 24th. 


Happy Holidays. 

Film Wise # 515: Holiday Cheer

Hello all! 


Get into the Xmas spirit because this week's Invisible people is all about the holidays. 


First we'll start with last week's answers HERE


I'm very proud of my 7/8 score because I did not see Old Dogs so I couldn't have gotten that right. Woot woot. 


Now on to this week's HERE


I sadly only got a 3/8.


I got #1, #2 and #8. I'm sure I know more but right now, that's all I got.


Ok all, how'd ya do?  

I Love Shorts: The Last Christmas

I came across this cheesy, homemade Christmas short about a two dudes fighting about Christmas presents. 


I have a soft spot for these kind of shorts so enjoy! 

Friday Film Recommendations: Dec 17th

Happy Friday All! 

Ok folks, time to get your movie on with this week's FFR selection. 

Here are my picks from Netflix (dude I totally rhymed!) 


Bruiser


A man wakes up with no face and instead of being all "waaaa I have no effin' face!" he decides that he take advance of his mystery mug and take revenge on all who has wronged him *insert thunder and lightening here* 


This fun little sleeper flick is amongst George Romero's non-zombie so it's worth checking out. 





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Raw Meat


This low budget but spiffy flick is about a subway cannibal dweller person dude surfacing the streets of London looking for some people to munch on. 


I was excited to see this listed for instant watch and I had to recommend it not only because it was made by a Chicago director, Gary Sherman BUT Donald Pleasence stars in it as well so it's awesome by association. 




Watch Now 




Go


This fast-paced crazed ride follows the stories of several people and their wild adventures out on Christmas Eve. 


This movie has a super stellar cast and it's a super stellar film. Good times! 







The Witches of Eastwick 


Three old broads with men issues start hooking up with the devil and they tap into their witchy powers. They fuck around with their powers and have a laugh but then shit goes down and they join together to defeat the devil. 


So I love this movie in general, but the scene where that bible thumper lady is in church yellin' about "WHORES" is the one scene that has a special place in my heart. I damn near crack up every time! 





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Miracle Beach


Beach bum Scotty comes across a magical genie! Waaaa? Scotty wants to impress a hot model so he wishes up things to make him a better man but little does he know that the hot genie is in love with him and hates trying to help him bang another chick....Waaaa? 


I have a guilty pleasure for semi-cheesy, early 90's "late night" comedies and this is one of them. 




Watch Now  

New on FearNet.com this week is:


Bufferfly Effect 3: Revelations

A cop goes back in time to solve the his girlfriend's murder (Dude, Time Cop much?) but he fucks with the past which results in fuckin' up the future. Rinse and repeat. 


I really super dug the first movie, didn't see the second one and this one... well....yyyeaahhh. I should see maybe see the second one and maybe this one will mesh well. 





Watch Now
Have a rockin' weekend everyone! 

Rare Exports Review: All I want for Xmas is more blood!

With Christmas just a week away, I love to cozy up with some Silent Night, Deadly Night, Christmas Evil, Gremlins, Black Christmas and other such horror-esque movies. As much as I love these great classic, I've been craving some new holiday horror. Thankfully I was given the opportunity to catch a screening of the Finnish Christmas horror film Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. 

Just days before Christmas, a team of explorers drilling through a Finland mountain discover a rare gem buried within. They realize that their icy find is none other than THE Santa Claus. Soon after, the kids in the small town below the mountain start disappearing. Dun dun dunnnn. 

Pietari, a young boy with a Santa phobia believes that Santa Claus is coming to town, and it isn't a good thing. 


Pietari has been studying the legend of Santa and knows that back in the day before he was frozen and stored in the mountain, he used to beat and torture naughty boys and girls. This ain't no Coca-cola Santa up in here! 


As the story unfolds, Pietari, his father and other town folk learn that evil elves are roaming the town trying to free Santa, hand over the naughty boys and girls and well, kill anyone that gets in their way. 

Over all, I really enjoyed this film. I have to say that my 8 year-old self would have make out with this film because I could relate to Pietari's child-like intrigue with the dark side of Santa and would have admired his ballsin' it up approach to taking charge of this situation. 


The downside, and maybe it's my own damn fault but I was expecting some damn blood, gore, a child or two getting hacked up by Santa, but no, I did not get what I wanted on my Christmas list for this film.


I always do much better without expectations but putting that all aside I have to say this film was so much fun along with being funny and dare I say that I found it to be cute. Yes, cute. Hoping to not turn anyone off from this film, my standards of "cute" is on the level of still grim but yet I was pleasantly satisfied even without it being as morbid as I would have liked it to be.


 Damn, this girl could have used just a squish more blood in the film. Ok... I'm over it!


I know this this film is hitting up some areas of the world so check out the site HERE to see if it's playing near you!